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You do what for a living?

Hi All,

Have you noticed that we no longer call jobs by their real name we tend to make up titles that make us sound more important? I keep a collection of resumes with funny job titles and unusual names that people give themselves. One of my resume, the person was a cashier at a grocery store but apparently that is a financial transaction specialist. A parking lot attendant is an entry and exit operator, a custodian at an amusement park is an ecological technologist and many more. Below is a list of some titles found both on resumes and on job postings that make you think:

Funny Job Titles

  1. Experienced bra fitter – I bet they had trouble finding candidates for this one.
  2. PlayStation Brand Ambassador – please report to your residence in the United States of Nintendo.
  3. Eyebrow Threading – I REALLY hope this has something to do with dolls.
  4. Finish Carpenter – for when the Start Carpenter gets tired.
  5. Helpdesk Technician @ Pentagon – “Uh, hello? I’m having a problem with this missile…”
  6. Remedy Engineer – aren’t those called “doctors”?
  7. Saltlick Cashier – new trend in the equestrian industry. Ok, enough horsing around.
  8. glacéau drop team – for a new sport at the Winter Olympics: ice-water spilling.
  9. DoodyCalls Technician – they really shouldn’t put down janitors like that.
  10. Sandwich Artist – another “Jesus in my food” wannabe.
  11. Ground Support – but there’s just more dirt under there.
  12. COMMERCIAL space hunter – so they did find animals further out in the cosmos? Who knew.
  13. Licensed Seamless Gutter Contractor – just sounds bad.
  14. Advanced Scrum Master (Manager or analyst in Agile Development project)
  15. Die Process Engineer
  16. Erection Engineer (Manufacturing plant position)
  17. Vision Clearance Engineer (Windshield Replacer)
  18. Bone Regeneration Specialist (Medical field)
  19. Shaft Serviceman (Mining position)
  20. Dike Mapping Researcher (Environmental Engineer)
  21. Knob Head (Transportation position)
  22. Cased Hole Log Analysis Specialist (Oil/Energy position)
  23. District Beaver Leader (Fund raising)
  24. Domestic Violence COORDINATOR (Shelter employee)
  25. Chief Imagination Officer (Technology)
  26. Ideation Director (Marketing)
  27. Integration Synchronicity Specialist (Technology)
  28. Dreams Fulfiller (Financial Services)
  29. Sr. Creatologist (Professional Coaching service)
  30. Chief Hooker (Cable Yarding Systems)

You do what for a living?

Funny Job Listings

  1. Drive Around Round Rock and get paid!! – seems simple enough.
  2. Landscaping Labor – the new Green Party.
  3. ROCKSTAR DEVELOPER – and you thought only American Idol was manufactured.
  4. Wine & Spirits retail store looking for partime help – maybe they should stop drinking their merchandise first.
  5. The Perfect Nanny Needed – Didn’t Ms. Doubtfire retire when the movie ended?
  6. You might want to work with us forever – depends on your health plan.
  7. BURNING BONZAI Server Needed – Bonzai server + matches = voila!
  8. The easiest “SALES JOB” – EVER GONE FISHING WITH DYNAMITE? – uh, “NO”.
  9. Get Paid to Wave and Dance!!!! – This is one job I can do for free!
  10. Wanted: Happy Person – would that be “in your face happy”, “perky happy” or just plain happy?

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